There is always one person in the group that is late to everything no matter how much notice you give them. Unfortunately I will have to volunteer as tribute because I can't seem to get it together.
1. Crap. I’ve done it again.
2. Do I send an I’m sorry text?
3. Would a GIF make it a little less better?
4. I really should have gotten up earlier.
5. Let’s be honest even if I woke up earlier I probably wouldn’t have gotten out of bed.
6. I should have showered last night.
7. Why didn’t I do laundry yet?
8. What can I pull together to get out of the house quickly?
9. Do I say screw it and put on makeup, I don’t need to be late and look like a train wreck.
10. Why do I do this to myself every single time?
11. I wish I could be more punctual.
12. This wasn’t on purpose.
13. I am just a terrible adult.
14. Maybe I’ll get lucky and someone else will be running late.
15. Probably not.
16. Well this just means they get to have a few extra drinks. I can catch up.
17. I’m going to tell them I’m on my way.
18. Even though we’re looking at ten minutes before I get out of the house.
19. Or I could tell them ten minutes…
20. They should just prepare for twenty.
21. Especially because I’m still on the couch.
22. The idea of putting on pants still sounds terrible.
23. If someone was actually here I’d probably move a little faster.
24. I’m going to have to be my own motivator.
25. Alright, let’s find some motivation.
26. Could you imagine the look on their faces if I actually showed up on time?
27. They’d wonder if I’m feeling well.
28. Maybe they lied about the time because they knew I’d be late.
29. Let us hope for that then I would be on time.
30. No more scrolling through Instagram, no Netflix I’m not still watching.
31. Alright I’m ready, (thirty minutes later).
32. Of course I’d get the slowest Uber driver ever.
33. Perfect, I’ll blame him.
34. In fact I’m sending a snap about how slow he’s driving, dig myself out a little bit.
35. I’m so lucky these folks love me so much.
36. I’d be so annoyed if I were my friend.
37. I hope they didn’t wait to order for me to arrive.
38. Except I do hope they did so it’s not so terrible for me.
39. I’m just going to slide into my seat quietly and give them the look.
40. You know the look that says “I know I suck but please still love me.”
41. Maybe I’ll offer to buy a round of shots.
42. It’ll downplay my lateness.
43. Or I could just make a joke about myself.
44. I promise I won’t be late again.
45. I’ll set multiple alarms if I have to.
46. I’m lying to them, I will probably be late again, and I’m sure they know it.
47. In fact I don’t think I’ll bring up not being late again.
48. I’ll shoot for being on time every once in a blue moon that way the heat comes off of me a little bit.
49. Though if we’re being honest I’m already planning on the excuse I’m going to use when I can’t turn off the Netflix.
50. Honestly I didn’t want to leave the house in the first place so just be happy I’m here.
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