We all should know by now that being an adult is looking both ways before crossing a road...and then getting hit by a rocket.
If you've never quite trusted your ability to adult:
You doubt yourself a lot.
"Why's everything so blurry? Oh...I forget to put on my contacts."
You’re always trying your best to get your sh*t together...
But no matter what, sh*t just keeps hitting the fan (even when things aren't that sh*tty.)
You have to coach yourself into being productive.
"Okay, I’m going to finish this paper for the next hour without any distractions!"
...An hour later you’ve just finished an episode of a new TV show on Netflix.
Because no matter what time you commit to finishing something, you just end up pushing the deadline back further and further.
Speaking of which, you always underestimate time.
Like when you tell yourself you can make that train on time...
...but end up getting there an hour late.
You sometimes give f*ckboys the benefit of the doubt.
Because “chill” must mean a relaxed date right?
You tend to put off chores like laundry
Until you're finally forced to wear your underwear inside out.
You keep track of your finances like a drug lord.
Because if not, you’d probably be moving back in with your parents.
You avoid shopping when money is tight which is always.
You always think the worst when you go out to party with friends because you don’t trust yourself to be able to save them if they get too close to a railing and fall off a bridge.
Your answer to "what are you doing with your life?" is always rehearsed.
Youtube tutorials are your religion.
You avoid WebMD like the plague or else your doctor's appointments feel more like horror movies.
You turn on your alarm when you nap, or else napping turns to sleeping turns to "wait, what time is it?"
There are days where you feel completely sh*tty, but you keep going anyway because you trust yourself to not give up.
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