It’s basically an art at this point, being so disciplined when it comes to expressing your feelings. It’s recognizing you feel a certain way and being completely on top of how you react, which is almost always placidly to any given situation. But then in moments of solitude, when those emotions surface, it can be overwhelming. It's not so much that you guard your feelings, it's that you keep them to yourself until they eventually explode.
1. Internally, you’re screaming. Because screaming all those feels out in public is not only scary but it can cause a big scene.
2. You have hyper-empathy when it comes to other people. When your BFF laughs, you grin. When a stranger cries, you feel your own tears coming. But since you keep all that emotion inside, you drown in it.
3. You smile at people you don’t even like. Because you’re secretly imagining screaming in their face, but honestly they’re not even worth the confrontation.
4. Keeping a lid on your feelings is a survival tactic. Your worst fear is someone using your vulnerability against you which is why you keep your emotions bottled up. It’s also why…
5. Your emotions are intense. You’ve kept them in for so long when they come out, they come out in a flood.
6. When you feel tears coming, you run. Crying is a vulnerability that only a select few have seen. You even hate how it feels: the tears that wet your cheeks, the lump in your throat, your lower chin trembling. You especially hate that critical look people give you before they ask are you crying?
7. Your biggest pet peeve is people asking, “what’s wrong?” Because answering them can become complicated and you risk getting emotional. You don’t wanna seem cold, but you also don’t want to be overbearing either.
8. You have concealed anxiety. It’s not that you hide your anxiety, but you hide the symptoms like shaky breaths and sweaty palms. It’s hard to explain to others that you know what you’re afraid of is rather irrational, but you can’t help it. So you keep it concealed because it’s safer that way.
9. Overthinking everything is your new normal. Because of your intense anxieties, you become cautious of everything around you, analyzing things you’re not sure of to the T. You like to check your thoughts before you voice them.
10. When someone pisses you off, your besties are your sounding board. You don’t say anything until they’re gone and you’re free to rant about them. It’s because you’re not a fan of confrontation but of course, you’re not going to admit that out loud.
11. You’d rather listen to others than share your own experiences. You don’t want to reveal too much information, but it also sucks keeping all you want to say in your mind.
12. You get pissed off at the world pretty easily. You always have those days where everyone from the delivery guy to the barista with the annoying eye roll is pissing you off. You find it pointless to explain your irritation because it’ll only make you seem like a Debbie Downer.
13. Walking around with resting bitch face is an everyday thing. You don’t want anyone to see all those waves of emotions pass through your face. But it can be a struggle because your bitch face can also be an invitation for people to think there’s always something wrong with you.
14.Your heart is guarded with walls that are tall and strong. Because your heart is so tender with emotions, you don’t want it to get in the wrong hands.
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