Eventually, you’ll find yourself in a relationship that can be classified only as a perpetual hookup. You might have started things off pretty casually, just flirting around, then things progressed to a kind of friends with benefits stage.
And that’s enough for you, you think. You've got your own things going on, right? You’re progressive, you’re independent –
1. You don’t need a man to make you happy; especially not this one.
That’s the first lie you told yourself. Little do you know, this lie opens the gates for all the other kinds of lies you feed yourself daily, just to convince yourself that you're totally fine with the status quo.
You say things like...
2. You’re not the jealous type.
You’re definitely not jealous when he talks about other women because your pants are off and not theirs. So what if he keeps talking about this girl from work he eats lunch with? You're not dating or anything. If you were dating, you wouldn't say something like-
3. Yeah, go hang with your mom and dad, I'm fine by myself
He can’t come over tonight because he’s out to dinner with his parents and you completely understand. It’s not like you wanted to meet them or anything. It's not a big deal anyway since he sees you most weekends. Often enough that you think you'd-
4. Better put his stuff somewhere he won't forget it.
When he consistently forgets his things at your place, you buy a new set of drawers to put everything in because you hate the clutter.
Definitely not so it feels like he has his own little spot in your apartment, no ma'am. Do the lies feel heavy on your heart yet? Probably not, because you still tell yourself...
5. You didn't leave your toothbrush at his place on purpose.
You’re not dropping hints or anything, you just forgot about it, that’s all. It's not like you want a reason to go back there in case. It's not like you want him to have a daily reminder of you. This is a purely physical thing, and that's why-
6. You only wore a dress is because it’s easier to take off.
It's all about easy access, honey! It has nothing to do with the fact that you want him to tell you that you look nice today. Or every day. For the rest of your lives. In fact,
7. You’re perfectly okay with the fact that he leaves before you fall asleep –
He’s just doing it so he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night! And you're totally okay with it. You don’t need good morning kisses or anything. Not to mention, he sends those cute kiss emojis when...
8. You call to tell him when your life is falling apart
You do this just so he knows that you might be a little busy for a while. Not because you want him to cancel his plans with his bros to come pet your hair and tell you everything’s gonna fine. Independent girls like you don't need that kind of attention.
That's why it's also-
9. Completely, totally fine when he doesn’t answer your texts or phone calls.
He’s probably just busy. He’s not ignoring you. And it doesn't matter if he is, cause you can just ignore him right back. You won't sit there waiting hours for the text back, because that would be sad and lonely.
But when he does text..
10. ...To suggest dinner before hooking up, your heart totally doesn't flutter with joy.
You’re just really hungry, and you know that new Thai place is supposed to be delicious, and kind of cozy... and intimate... but you only want to go out for the food, of course. And if he decides to invite his bros along to dinner,
11. You are not disappointed even when he doesn't introduce you as his girlfriend.
Because he’s not your boyfriend. And that’s fine. Of course it is. Labels are so passé, anyway. You don't need some validation from a silly title like 'girlfriend' or 'better half' or 'the one true love of his life'. Pfft, you never even thought about it that way.
That's also why-
12. You don’t feel guilty when there’s a hot guy flirting with you
Mr. Hookup is only a couple of feet away, and what if he hears? You don’t care if he hears. It's not like you think that by flirting with someone else, he'll be jealous enough to pull you into his arms.
13. In return, he can flirt with all the girls he wants.
You're free and independent, so why shouldn't he be? It totally doesn't phase you to see him flirting with the solid 9 at the end of the bar. You want him to feel free to explore his feelings.
(Okay, I'm a liar, please don’t flirt with all the girls you want. Please just take the hints.)
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