Though divorce can be a traumatic experience, it can change you for the better:
I’m more reflective about myself. When you go through divorce, you go through many changes from moving to a new home to having new step relatives. They change you in a way that you’ve never known before. Which is why I often look at who I was in the past versus who I am now.
I’ve learned to not settle. My parents divorced because they felt like they deserved more than what they had. They didn’t like the way they’re lives changed because of their choice to settle down. That taught me to not settle for less than what I deserved.
I understand what commitment truly means. It means to make a vow to put all your effort into this. I understood that marriage wasn’t 50/50 but 100/100. The major thing that caused the divorce was the lack of commitment between them. They just couldn't see eye to eye.
Patience is key. Rushing into things, especially relationships, is not the way to go. As painful as it can be, taking your time through all the problems and stand-stills in life makes you grow with the one you love. I’ve learned to be more patient and enjoy the journey.
I don’t get heartbroken easily...because I’ve seen first hand how much damage is done to your heart when you leave it broken with watching my parents make heavy mistakes with each other and me. It’s why I take time to take care of myself when my heart is in the dump.
I’m careful with where I place my trust...because even the people we love and care about it, can be careless. I always watch a person’s actions more then I listen to their words when it comes to trusting them because promises are hard to keep. My parents broke vows in which they promised to be together for a long time.
When I put my heart into something, I go all the way. I’ve learned that it’s better to quit on something than go about it half-a**ed. Time is something we can’t get back, so putting my heart into a relationship means to not hold back.
I still believe in love...because all’s not lost when you stop loving someone. My parent’s divorce has taught me that things don’t always work out and that’s okay. You may just find another person to love.
But I see it as a choice…because divorce broke the belief that you fall in and out of love. It showed me that when it comes to difficult situations, in relationships, you can either choose to work through it or give up. Choosing to work through it is love.
And for me, it’s not the most important thing in life. Though love is a beautiful and complex thing, finding someone to love for the rest of my life isn’t the end goal, because it may not even work out. Watching my parent’s divorce has taught me to focus on the things that I’m sure will last a lifetime.
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