As I spend my days completely sexless in suburbia, I always hold on hope that E! will have one of its ‘Sex and the City,’ sprees. A show that has a spirit animal for any twenty-something gal who is just trying to make sense of her life and the roles that love and sex play in it, SATC is a great watch and even has some wisdom within Carrie Bradshaw’s horrendous puns. I’ve been watching the show from a young age with my Mom (don’t judge my parents, I still turned out pretty decent) and I thought that everything that was said and done on the show rang true in the real world. As I am getting older, however, I have learned that there are a few dramatic lies that have been told by Bradshaw and her clan. It’s not their fault, since it is a fictional show, but you can never believe the following things if you want to make it in the real world…
- There is no way in hell that Carrie’s weekly column in a newspaper could allow her to live the luxurious life she had. Unless she had a trust fund that the writers failed to incorporate into the script, then it is impossible to own a spacious apartment in Manhattan, buy a shit ton of Manolo’s and still have enough money to pick up the bill when you get lunch with your girlfriends, which leads me to my next lie…
- You and your girlfriends will never be able to be free as often as the gals of Sex and the City are. I wish that I could have lunch with my three best friends every day, followed by drinks and clubbing at night, but with conflicting schedules and intervening relationships, I have to imagine that a realistic version in the show would have had at least a season’s worth of the girls just trying to find a day where they are all available to grab brunch.
- Samantha would have most definitely had an STD. Hands down, case closed, enough said.
- While we all want a gay BFF that is as flamboyant and fabulous as Stanford, that is not the ultimate definition of what a gusband is and looks like.
- As much as I wish this were the case, the one that got away (like Big and Steve) will not always come back to the much-deserving Carrie’s in the world. Most exes stay in the past, no matter how much we want to reincorporate them into our lives.
- Even once you have hit your 30’s, your parents do still exist… no matter how shitty they were when you were growing up, there is no way you will go six years without seeing them unless it is for their funeral (RIP Mrs. Hobbes.)
- No human, with the exception of Beyoncé, can actually wear high heels 24/7 without serious health issues following it. Carrie would have needed massive foot surgery for the amount of times she wore stilettos during her casual strolls through Central Park. Come to terms with the fact that sometimes you are going to have to wear shoes for their comfort rather than their style, and move on from this lie.
- New York is much smellier than the show makes it appear to be. Just saying.
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