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Bestie, I Love You to Pieces but You're Suffocating Me

Let me start off by saying that I  love you to pieces. You’re my best friend, my ride or die, the person I trust the most and also the one that makes me laugh the hardest. Really, what else can I ask for in a friend? You’re truly one of my favorite people in the world and I know that my life would be kind of dull without you in it. But, you’ve been going through a lot lately and your life predicaments have turned you into someone I barely recognize anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be there for you as you navigate your difficult life changes, that’s my job as your best friend, but you’re making it almost impossible for me to be a supportive friend. You’re literally suffocating the life out of this friendship… you’re suffocating me.

First, you have allowed your problems to bring your confidence and self-esteem down to zero and I get it, it happens and it sucks. We all go through it and can relate to the struggle but you have chosen to victimized yourself in such a way that it honestly feels like you’re way too comfortable being ‘the victim.’

I know it sounds crass but I’m coming from a place of love and it’s my duty to be honest with you. Because of your lack of confidence you’ve become extremely dependent on me. You’re relying on me for everything and putting way too much weight on my shoulders. You can’t expect me to find answers and solutions to all your problems, you can’t push your life circumstances on me and presume that I’d deal with them as my own. I’m here to assist you not to think for you or save you. There’s a difference. 

It breaks my heart to see you hurt but it breaks my heart even more to see how you’re choosing to drown in your own misery just because you refuse to admit that you are not willing to do much to get out of your comfort zone.  If you want to better your circumstances, you must take responsibility for your problems, take matters into your own hands and just do something about. And you have to do it soon before losing your best friend  becomes another one of your problems.

I’ve done my best to reason with you but it’s like I’m no longer able to get through to you. You’ve become so overly sensitive I feel like I’m walking on eggshells whenever we’re together, which lately it really feels like binge watching a bad drama show. It’s exhausting. 

I used to love getting texts from you, our constant banter made my days bearable. We were always there for each other and took life struggles by the horn together as equals. You would put me in my place when I needed a wake up call, you would cheer me up when I was down and you would overall just be a god damn amazing friend. I’d like to think that I was the same for you, and I still feel I am.

But lately, you’re the complete opposite, you’re all negativity, I can’t have a conversation with you where you don’t feel sorry for yourself, everything is such a drag. Every time you call or text I dread it and I hate feeling that way about you. I truly miss us. This doesn’t mean that I’m only there for you at your best, I’m also there for you at your worst, but you’ve worst has become your default status quo.

I hope that you finally see how your attitude has changed and how damaging it is to our friendship. The last thing I want to do is cut ties with you. It would hurt me too much, but you’re putting way too much pressure on me as a friend and I don’t see any other way to make our situation better. I want the best for you but I need to look out for myself too. I hope we can work this out somehow. I know the real amazing person underneath all the foggy shit you’re going through and I refuse to give up on you just yet.

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