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7 Things You May Not Know About The Sarcastic Friend

Sarcasm is cathartic. 
Like, seriously. I don’t need to yell or punch things because I will destroy you with my wit. 

But we DO care about your feelings.
I swear we only have the best intentions, we are just really bad at sugarcoating. It’s not our thing. We may spit it out a little too bluntly, but you can always count on us for the truth. 

And we really do appreciate that compliment.
But, um, how do I respond to affection? *smiles uncomfortably* 

We are hilarious.
If you can get to know us and understand our sense of humor, you will never experience a dull moment. No, seriously, I’m a riot. 

Which means we also know how to cheer you up.
Did that teacher give you a D on your paper? Is your dad being an asshole? Were you late to work and in trouble with your boss? Watch us magically turn your own personal hell into your own personal comedy show. 

We aren’t antisocial, we just have trouble with new people. 
These people don’t know us yet and having to say “I swear I’m not a bitch,” after everything that comes out of our mouths is exhausting. 

Finally, and most importantly, we make really good friends. 
You may hear hundreds of sarcastic remarks a day and maybe we are terrible at filtering our thoughts, but you will also have someone who will never fail you. We will be your rock.

So appreciate your sassy friend, people.